Aretino's Blue Stories

I Am Not Big Bird

2024

Luis Carpio, a 30-something virgin who was dejected after his girlfriend turned down his marriage proposal, heads off on holiday to Thailand with a bunch of friends. Once there, a peculiar chain of events ensues when Luis is mistaken for a famous Thai porn star, the "Big Bird" of the title.

Senior Skip Day

2008

The senior class plans to have a skip-day party at the principal's house until Adam Harris leaks the secret, so he decides to save the celebration by hosting it at his house.

Let's Do It!

1982

Haunted by his mother’s overbearing presence, reluctant virgin Freddie embarks on a hilarious journey of self-discovery in order to please his girlfriend. With the help of his eccentric buddies and various others, he hilariously navigates romance, confronting fears and finding love along the way.

Isang Gabi sa Iyo... Isang Gabi sa Akin

1978

A story between two women sharing the same man.

Deep in the Valley

2009

Best friends, Carl and Lester, find themselves magically transported into an alternate universe straight out of a real-life adult movie. Hilarity ensues as they embark upon a journey of adult-themed mayhem while Carl ultimately finds true love in the most unlikely of places.

Foreign Exchange

2008

Four high school friends plan to ride out their senior year taking easy classes, including a program for housing foreign exchange students and eventually all attending Ohio State. Hurdles befall each of the four: grades, higher aspirations, love. Is it the Foreign Exchange students that learn from their host or the hosts that do more of the learning?

Going the Distance

2004

Nick is a successful young man whose comfortable West Coast life couldn't be better. However, when his girlfriend falls under the influence of lecherous music producer Lenny Swackhammer, Nick impulsively decides to travel to Toronto to intervene. Nick's buddies Tyler and Dime opt to turn the quest into a cross-country road trip that's complete with wacky antics and encounters with beautiful women.

Pledge This!

2007

At popular South Beach University, filthy rich super-snob Victoria English is the absolute queen of leading Greek student club, Sigma Sigma. In order to achieve her crowning ambition, winning FHM Magazine's annual best sorority, she must recruit atypical 'Sigmies' to fulfill the diversity criteria. Ambitious sycophant pledge Kristen Haas helps her attract 'losers' (too poor, ugly, unfashionable), who are cruelly put through excruciating hazing, without intent to actually enroll them. Gloria, the brightest and most assertive pledge, wins the heart of Derek 'baby Dick', Victoria's ideal, yet constantly abused boyfriend, whose bitch-addiction is cured by this alternative lover. Together they lead the revolt of the not-even-nerds.

Una cavalla tutta nuda

1972

The youngsters Folcacchio and Guffardo must bring an embassy to the Bishop of Volterra, and during the trip, the two boys meet the beautiful Gemmata. The woman is a poor peasant who is married to Nicholas. Folcacchio and Guffardo, to have a night of love with the girl, pretends to be magicians who can turn humans into beasts.

Pretty Cool Too

2007

After graduating from high school, lovable geek Walter receives a cell phone as a gift which could solve all of his problems. It comes with a personal genie that could control anyone, including Walter's overprotective parents, his pesky brother, and sexy neighbors. With such incredible powers at his disposal, Walter sets out to make his wildest dreams come true.

Stooges in Tokyo

1991

Three perverted idiots go to Tokyo on a business trip.

Jóvenes amiguitas buscan placer

1982

SIZZLIN’ BACON

2016

Jurgen Vanderspek (a.k.a. James Vanderbacon) is a senior in high school. He is a loudmouthed macho who loves to tell juicy anecdotes about his sexual escapades, but actually, he is still a virgin. When, one drunken evening, Cissy ends up in his bed, Jurgen gets much more than he bargained for.

Los sueños húmedos de Patrizia

1982

The marriage of Javier and Patrizia works very well, especially when they make love while watching Lola on the videocassette in very erotic poses and provocative gestures. In the end it is discovered that Lola is his lover and he married Patrizia only for hunting her fortune and Lola is not Lola but Pedro. And he is a bisexual who dominates Javier's will, until he leads him to disaster out of ambition, while Patrizia and a very dear friend go to rest in Ibiza.

My Pleasure Is Your Pleasure

1973

In '500 a noble Tuscan gives a banquet in which they are told bawdy stories: a cardinal tells dirty stories during a banquet that turns into a purge; a marquise is induced into temptation by an abbot; a tintora has carnal relations with a brother, and the two have a son; prisoner of Charles V , Francis I of France has a relationship with two Spanish and get an acquittal advance by the Pope; a group of cardinals contain a prostitute during a council; the Marquis Cavalcanti, rejected by the bride, vents his cravings with a syphilitic prostitute.